Heartbreak And Romance
by Stardrops
Summary: Love is in the air at Hogwarts, but when mixed with lies, deceit, infidelity and secrets, it's not easy for anyone. How will Hermione learn to deal with her heart and accept her emotions when she falls for someone else...
1. Hermione's Secret

The rain slashed against the windows of the Gryffindor common room. Thunder rolled outside, occasional crashes and booms causing Hermione to jump slightly.  
  
Hermione looked down at the gaudily wrapped box of Honeydukes best chocolates she had been given by her boyfriend, Ron Weasley, for their 12 month anniversary. She sighed. It was a nice gesture, to be sure, but they had been going out for a year, and all he could think of for a gift was a box of chocolates and a card that said, "Dear Hermione, We made it! Love Ron".  
  
When she'd been in her first few years at Hogwarts, she had always had a thing for the tall red head. He'd seemed like a blustering, slightly clumsy boy, but she knew he had a good heart. When he had gone to the ball with Padma Patil in fourth year, she had been nearly green with envy even though she was there with an international Quidditch hero. She had been satisfied to see the expression of jealousy on Ron's face when he saw her walking in with Victor Krum, but had not realized that he was jealous because he liked her; she thought he just wanted to be the first to get to know the famous Krum.  
  
After their fifth year, during the holidays, Hermione had gone to stay with the Weasleys. She and Ron had spent a lot of their time writing to Harry, who was caged with his aunt and uncle in Little Whinging, but had been spending a lot of time alone. She remembered her first kiss with Ron so well. It had been in the garden, when they were degnoming the premises. One of the gnomes had bit Hermione's hand, and Ron simply walked over and healed it with a stroke of his wand (which Hermione found incredible, he was usually so clumsy with his wand). After healing it, he had leaned forward, gently tilted her face towards him and kissed her. The memory still ran tingles down her spine. She had to admit that Ron was a very good kisser, but that was about it. He'd spent more time flirting with the other Gryffindor girls than he had spent with Hermione, and the time they were together they spent making out. He wasn't interested in talking and deep conversations as they'd had the summer before their sixth year. It was more a security for him, so when people saw him, they immediately thought, "Oh, that's the guy who's going out with the Head Girl."  
  
Yes, Hermione reminded herself with a small smile of satisfaction. She, the Mudblood, had become Head Girl. Ron had missed out to Harry, but he didn't care because as he liked to remind Hermione, "I don't need more responsibility."  
  
But lately, Ron had stopped flirting quite so much, and was starting to keep to himself a lot. He seemed moody and surly, and looked like he was strained a lot of the time.  
  
She sighed again. They had only been back a week, and already she was more lonely at Hogwarts than she had ever been.  
  
A pair of hands reached around and covered her eyes. "Guess who!" crowed a triumphant voice.  
  
She smiled. "Get your hands off my eyes before I hex you, Harry Potter."  
  
"Yeesh, touchy," teased Harry, quickly removing his hands. He sat down in a cushiony armchair beside Hermione.  
  
"Why are you still up?" Hermione asked, looking at her watch. "Its well past midnight."  
  
"I could ask you the same question," Harry replied. "I know the thunder isn't just keeping you awake like it's kept me up. Well, the thunder, and your boyfriend's snoring." At the mention of Ron, Hermione tensed up slightly. He was asleep while she sat out here on their twelve-month anniversary alone?  
  
"Everything ok?" Harry asked. He looked concerned at the mixed expression of wistfulness and irritation on Hermione's face.  
  
She sighed and decided to tell Harry the truth. After all, Harry was her best friend in the whole world now, since Ron had become so aloof.  
  
"I don't know what is up with Ron," she confessed. "He seems so distant and bored whenever we're together, and doesn't seem to want to be around me anymore. I can't help wondering if maybe he isn't interested in us going out anymore."  
  
"Does that bother you a lot?" Harry asked. Hermione paused. Harry had a point. What Hermione would die before admitting is that she secretly thought a lot about someone else. She knew that it was unfair to be thinking of another boy when she was technically going out with Ron, but as she had never admitted it, it couldn't really be cheating.  
  
"I don't know," Hermione replied. "Most of the time now when I see him, I guess I'm kinda pissed off at him."  
  
"Well, talk to him about it. Mayeb you need a break." Harry reached for her hand. "It's not easy to do, but it isn't worth all the bother and worry if you aren't happy."  
  
Hermione smiled ruefully. "Maybe I should.I think I'll talk to him tomorrow and see what he wants. Maybe we can sort something out."  
  
Harry hugged her and then got up from his chair. "I think we had best be off now, its nearly two o'clock and we have school tomorrow."  
  
Hermione and Harry left the common room and split for their separate dormitories. She watched as Harry opened the door to his room and then waved to her as he entered. She sighed and shook her head to clear it as she got into her own bed.  
  
Her insides still melted with the thoughts of that special person she had begun to fancy. She couldn't in all honesty say that it was a recent fancy; she'd liked him since they'd begun Hogwarts together, but it had kind of been hidden away when Ron came into the picture. She had a photo of him in her diary, so every time she opened her diary, there he was, smiling and waving up at her.  
  
She loved him with all her heart, from the waves of his messy hair to the stunning green of his emerald eyes that seemed to hide every feeling he had, unless you knew how to read them. She loved the way his body seemed to not be perfectly straight, white and muscled like Ron's since he'd begun working out, but more tanned and strong with muscles from Quidditch. She loved the way his smile lit up his whole face, and how beautiful he looked when he was crying, laughing or concentrating on something. She loved how deep and sensitive he was. And how he didn't act all macho, but rather, acted like the perfect human being he was.  
  
Hermione was in love with Harry Potter. 


	2. Ron's Secret

When Hermione woke the next morning, she felt more relaxed than she had all week. All that she had to do to sort out the relationship with Ron was to talk to him about it.  
  
She spent all of Arithmancy and Ancient Runes trying to figure out what she was going to say to him. Many different scenarios wandered through her thoughts and she found it really hard to concentrate on her classes with her heart racing like it was.  
  
It wasn't until lunch that she found her boyfriend. She saw him sifting through parchment in the common room, searching for something. Walking over to him, she put an arm around his waist and turned him around to see her. As soon as he laid eyes on her, he smiled. But the blank expression he always seemed to wear whenever they were together returned to his face almost immediately. He continued to ruffle through parchment, turning his head away so that she couldn't see his face.  
  
"Um, Ron, I was wondering if maybe we could talk," Hermione began. Ron tensed up for a moment before turning to look at her. He nodded.  
  
"Yeah, there's something I need to tell you too." Together they walked down towards the lake. Hermione found herself wondering what he was going to tell her. Maybe he was going to break up with her, and save her the trouble of finding out what was wrong with him.  
  
"So.what did you want to talk about?" she asked him, feeling slightly nervous. She'd never seen Ron look so uneasy.  
  
He took a deep breath, and to her surprise, she saw a tear run down his face. They had stopped walking and were now seated under their favourite tree with the lake in view.  
  
She immediately wiped away the tear and put her arm around him. "Honey, what on earth is the matter?" she asked in surprise.  
  
"Hermione, I have something to confess," Ron said slowly, looking very fidgety. "Now promise me you wont be upset, and please, please promise that you wont tell anyone."  
  
"Of course, I promise," Hermione assured him.  
  
"I can't go out with you anymore. It's not that I don't want to, it's that I cant. It's all.wrong for me." He confessed to her. Her hand on his back went slightly limp, and she found herself feeling slightly let down. Not as much as she had been expecting, but still let down.  
  
"Why?" she asked, feeling confused. "I mean, why is it wrong? Surely we could talk through our problems, and sort everything out?"  
  
Ron put his head in his hands and breathed deeply. "No, it's not something we can sort out. Its not you," he assured her, looking up at her with sincerity. "It's me."  
  
Now Hermione was thoroughly confused. "What do you mean?" she asked.  
  
Ron groaned and buried his head in his hands again. "Do I have to spell it out for you?" he asked.  
  
"Are you in love with someone else?" she asked, hoping to make it easier for him to tell her.  
  
He looked up. "Well, yes, I think I am."  
  
Hermione deflated thoughtfully. Good. This was better. They were getting some answers now. She found herself not caring very much that he liked another girl, she was glad that after breaking up, they were still on speaking terms.  
  
"Who is it?" she asked. "Is it one of the girls I hang out with?"  
  
Ron seemed to give up his pride at that point. "It's not a girl."  
  
At once, a flash of understanding spread through Hermione. She understood now. "Oh, Ron," she said hugging him. "Who is it?"  
  
"D-do you mind if I don't tell you right now?" he asked.  
  
"No, of course not. But it might help to tell someone. You've seemed so shut up lately."  
  
He sighed and nodded. Whispering in her ear, he admitted the name. "It's Seamus."  
  
"You're in love with Seamus Finnegan?" she asked him incredulously. He tensed up, looking to see if there was anyone listening nearby. Finding no one, he turned back to Hermione and gulped as he nodded.  
  
All Hermione could think of was that her ex-boyfriend was gay. "Is it because of me?" she asked, horrified to think that she had scared him away from women permanently.  
  
"No," he answered. "It's just been gradual, but I've noticed it a lot lately."  
  
"Are you sure this isn't just an experimental thing?" she asked.  
  
"No. I'm positive."  
  
She hugged him once more and told him, "Look, I think it's great that you could tell me this."  
  
"Well, you're the only person I've told. I'll probably tell Harry sometime soon."  
  
"Are you going to tell Seamus?" she asked.  
  
A spark lit in his eye at the sound of Seamus's name. "Maybe."  
  
A feeling of unease rose in Hermione. "Wait, are you sure he's the same as you?"  
  
Ron threw back his head and laughed. "Yes, Hermione. I'm sure. He told me so himself."  
  
Hermione nodded and they hugged again. Inside, she found herself not very surprised that Ron had admitted to homosexuality. She recognized some of the signs now that she was aware. And she was happy for him. And for herself. Now there were absolutely no hard feelings between herself and Ron, this left much more of an opportunity for her to tell Harry how she felt.  
  
She smiled to the skies, as she and Ron stayed by the lake in companiable silence for the rest of lunch, neither feeling very hungry. 


	3. The First Heartbreak

Hermione sat down to dinner later that day. She was so glad that she and Ron had remained friends, and his confession had made the two of them bond closer.  
  
Harry was at the dinner table in his usual seat, eating shepherds pie. Hermione sat in her seat across from him and watched him eat. She wondered how Harry would take the news that his best friend was gay. Knowing Harry, he would probably accept it with wide-open arms. Harry was good like that. He was understanding. Maybe it had to do with the rough childhood he had endured, but Harry had always found it easy to understand other people's problems.  
  
Harry looked up at her. "So, how did it go with Ron?" he asked.  
  
"Well," Hermione started and then faltered. She couldn't break her promise to Ron. And yet she really did not want to lie to Harry. She had to tell Harry the truth, but leave a very important part out.  
  
She shook back her hair and stared Harry straight in the eyes. "We came to a mutual decision that it just wasn't going to work with us."  
  
"Bummer," Harry said sympathetically. "Any particular reason why?"  
  
Hermione smiled to herself. "There were a few, but mostly just that we're better off as friends."  
  
Harry nodded and scraped the last bite of his shepherd's pie from his plate. Wiping his mouth on the back of his hand, he stood up and groaned as he looked at the ceiling. "Looks like it's going to be windy tonight." He looked back down at Hermione with a frustrated expression. "Quidditch practise again."  
  
"But you're the team captain, surely you could call it off?" Hermione said in confusion.  
  
"I wish!" Harry laughed dryly. "Nah, we really need this practise session. We are going to suck against Ravenclaw on Saturday if we don't practise lots this week. Practises every night and every morning before classes." He smiled grimly at Hermione as he began to leave the hall. "Catch you later, ok?"  
  
Hermione watched him leave the hall. She wanted to capture him in her memory forever. She had so many good memories of him doing things, but all the pictures of his face were blurred, she could not picture him perfectly. She wanted to be able to see him when she dreamed. More than anything, she wanted to be able to say to everyone that she and the Head Boy were in love.  
  
But with a sinking feeling in her stomach, she remembered how in sixth year, whenever Ron had made jokes about her and Harry being a couple, Harry had laughed and acted as though it could never happen.  
  
Parvati sat down next to Hermione in Harry's place, and Lavender sat across in Ron's seat.  
  
"So, I hear you and Ron broke up," Lavender said with a concerned expression. "Are you all right?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine!" Hermione laughed. "It's perfectly ok. It wasn't really going anywhere anyway. But thank you for asking, Lavender."  
  
"You know, he and Harry are easily the two most desirable boys in the seventh year. There are not a lot of good guys left." Parvati stabbed a sausage with her fork viciously.  
  
"What about Dean Thomas?" Hermione asked, furrowing her brow.  
  
Lavender rolled her eyes. "Lately he's become so involved with that girlfriend of his in Ravenclaw, its impossible to even get a conversation going with him."  
  
"Well, there's all the guys in the other houses, don't forget them," Hermione offered.  
  
"Yeah, but the guys in our house are the best. They're the brave, strong ones," Lavender said with a dreamy expression in her eyes.  
  
"You and Harry are pretty close, what do you think about you two getting together?" Parvati asked Hermione.  
  
"Parvati!" exclaimed Lavender. "She's only just broken up with her boyfriend, give her a break!"  
  
Hermione laughed. "Harry's my best friend, Parvati. I just want him to be happy."  
  
"Do you reckon he'd be happy if I asked him out?" asked Lavender, examining her reflection in the back of a spoon. "I've always kind of fancied the bloke."  
  
Hermione felt a stab of jealousy in the pit of her stomach but brushed it away, knowing that Harry would never go out with Lavender if she asked, because he wasn't interested in her as far as she knew. She thought she might as well build up Lavenders ego, because she doubted Lavender would even bother asking.  
  
"Sure, I think so. You're pretty, and a great person to be around. I can't see why he wouldn't say yes," Hermione said.  
  
"Go ask him!" Parvati said. "He's just gone back into the common room. Go on!"  
  
Lavender rose. "I think I will. I'm tired of looking at him from a distance. It's time I tried to get close and personal with the boy I like!" With that she walked out of the hall. Hermione was shocked. She hadn't meant to build up Lavenders hopes, only her ego! She hoped Lavender wouldn't be too crushed when Harry said no.  
  
She and Parvati continued eating, keeping small talk flowing while waiting on the edge of their seats for Lavender to come back. They didn't have long to wait. Twenty minutes later, Lavender came back into the room. Hermione braced herself for tears and wailings of, "he doesn't like me!" to come from Lavender. She turned around and was about to say, "Never mind, Lavender, there'll be others who'll appreciate you." But when she saw the expression on Lavenders face, she could not help herself. Her jaw dropped open. Lavender was beaming and her eyes were bright with happiness.  
  
"I'm going out with Harry Potter!" she shrieked to Parvati and Hermione.  
  
Parvati screamed. "Oh my god! That's fantastic! I'm so happy for you!"  
  
Hermione swallowed. "Yeah, that's great Lavender. I'm so pleased for you."  
  
Thankfully, the pair were too engrossed in their joy to notice a definite lack of enthusiasm in her voice. 


	4. Dealing With Heartbreak

Everything seemed to be tainted with a grey colour as Hermione walked to the common room. She was dazed and shocked. Her best friend going out with one of the other girls? The guy she was madly crazed about was going out with Lavender?  
  
Hermione could not believe it. There had to be a mistake. Why on earth would Harry like Lavender? Sure, she was pretty, and she was nice, and funny, and fun to hang around with, but what did Lavender have that Hermione didn't?  
  
Hermione felt sick with herself as she realized what she was thinking. These were two of her friends, and she was contemptuously analyzing their relationship?  
  
But still.how was she going to survive everything between Lavender and Harry? She knew she would be drawn in because she was close to both of them, so her heart was going to gradually shrivel up and cark it.  
  
Her head was still buzzing with thoughts as she curled up in her big four- poster bed. Pretending to be asleep, she did not make a move or sound when Parvati and Lavender entered, and in return the two exchanged a conversation in whispers, so as not to "wake" her.  
  
"I am so happy for you, Lav!" exclaimed Parvati.  
  
"I know, you've told me," Lavender said, pretending to roll her eyes. The two were still bouncing on their feet, and behaving like total children. Hermione felt a twinge of envy. She would have liked a girl friend that would be as happy for her as Parvati and Lavender were for each other. She'd never had very many close friends, even in elementary school. Now she was at Hogwarts, she had hoped things would be different. And sure, she had made great friends out of Harry and Ron, but what about all the girls? None of them had been particularly friendly towards her, thinking she was a snob simply because she liked to study.  
  
And now the closest friend she had ever had was going to be kissing and hanging around with another girl. Hermione wanted to hurl a pillow at something.  
  
Although she did not know how, eventually she got to sleep. When she woke, though, it was in the very early hours of the morning, and the sun had not yet risen. The castle was grey with the early morn, and Hermione decided she could not stand to stay in bed. She had to go get her mind off this stupid thing with Harry and Lavender. She decided to go to the library, her sanctuary.  
  
But even when books surrounded her, she wasn't completely happy. There were so many memories of happy times with Harry and Ron in this library. Like, the table over there. That was where she had asked Harry and Ron to be part of SPEW all those years ago, before she had realized it was a pathetic idea and she should give it up.  
  
The section on water spells reminded her of their fourth year, when Harry had been in the Triwizard Tournament, and she had desperately tried to help him with the third task.  
  
There was the desk on the right of the room, where Hermione and Ron had first told Harry about their relationship.  
  
The book on a table nearby reminded her of the time she and Harry had fought over whether or not Harry and Ron were allowed to go to Hogsmeade on the day before their exams started in sixth year. She and Harry had been poring over the book together, when Ron had come in and asked if Harry was ready to go. Hermione had protested wildly, but only because she wanted to make sure that Ron and Harry did not fail their exams. She had cared so much about them both, and still did. They hadn't ever realized that was why she had bugged them so much about being on task in the library during revision time; they thought she was simply annoying.  
  
Sighing, Hermione left the library. Looking out a window in an empty classroom as she wandered aimlessly through the castle, she saw them. Harry and Lavender. They were going on a walk together. She hadn't noticed Lavenders bed being empty. She saw Harry reach out and take Lavenders hand as they walked, and Lavender reached over and kissed Harry on the cheek. They looked so happy, and Hermione did not want to rain on their parade. She pretended she had never seen it, and they never mentioned it again.  
  
She realized she had to get over Harry. But how? 


	5. Blackmail and Threats

The rest of the week passed much like that night, Hermione trying and trying to get over Harry, and failing miserably. She simply didn't know what to do! In everything she did, she couldn't help but think about him, he popped into her head at most times, and every other time she was thinking about stapling Lavender to the wall.  
  
She spent most of her time hidden away in the library or the girl's bathrooms. Reading had begun to take her mind off him slightly, but she began to turn famous witches and wizards into Harry in her head.  
  
No one missed her; everyone assumed that if Hermione wasn't in the common room or her dormitory, she was studying as usual. Hermione did not feel like studying. She didn't care about studying. Grades were grades. She was already the brightest witch at school; exams were a long way off yet.  
  
What got her down the most was that while she had to admit that it was more embarrassing to let people see her cry, she hated the fact that no one, not even Ron, and not even Harry himself, noticed that she was down. Everyone who thought she was acting differently just thought it was because she'd broken up with her boyfriend, and she was trying to "find herself" again. Please. If she ever lost herself, it wasn't hard to find her; she was always in the library studying.  
  
It was eight days after Lavender had first told them about her new relationship with Harry when Hermione began to realize that she was losing her grip on reality. She knew homework and stuff was important, but she hadn't been doing it. She was being excused of course, because being Head Girl was a very hard duty, and teachers thought the reason she wasn't doing her homework was because she was too busy looking after the first years and checking to make sure the school rules were being obeyed. Even the strictest of teachers, like Snape and McGonagall were letting her off, though just barely.  
  
She had decided to do her homework one night when she couldn't bear idleness any longer and was in the library hidden in a desk at the back. She finished off an Astronomy Q&A sheet, and put the finishing touch on her Transfiguration essay. She was about to start the work Snape had set for the class, which was three nasty essays on the properties of Moongrass and Tolemy, and what the two produced when added together; the correct method of a Silencing Potion; and a particularly horrible one which was about what colours a Brigold potion turned according to what hour it was. As there were 24 different colours and they were expected to write in detail on each one, it was not an easy assignment.  
  
Hermione was becoming involved in her work and hadn't given a thought to anyone around her when she heard voices in the bookcases in front of her.  
  
"Did anyone see you?" she heard a girl's voice. It sounded familiar, but Hermione couldn't put a name to it.  
  
"Nah, its nearly twelve o'clock, we're supposed to be in our dormitories now." The male's voice also sounded very familiar, but again Hermione was confused. She shook her head and continued to work. There was no more speech from the bookcases, but after a while, Hermione needed a reference book to check up on a Brigold colour that she had forgotten. Looking at her watch, she realized she would be in a lot of trouble if she was caught, it was nearly twelve thirty, and even the seventh years were not allowed out this late. She rounded a bookcase and stopped.  
  
There on the floor was Lavender Brown and Dean Thomas. Lavenders robes were slipping off her shoulder, Dean had lipstick all over his face and neck, and they were both red faced and sweaty looking. They hadn't noticed Hermione yet, and continued to make out, Dean kissing Lavender passionately on the lips while her hands moved about in his hair and on his body.  
  
Hermione lifted her hands to her mouth and then said in a gasp, "Lavender?"  
  
Lavender and Dean sprang apart from each other as quickly as they could. Expressions of guilt and forced innocence spread across their faces as Lavender answered, "Hermione. Um.what are you doing here?"  
  
Hermione simply stood and stared a bit longer. Then when realization hit, she turned and ran, leaving behind her homework. She would pick it up in the morning. She could hear footsteps coming after her, and Lavender called, "Hermione, wait! I can explain this."  
  
Hermione just kept running. This was all like a nightmare. She couldn't believe what she had just seen. The girl who Harry adored, who had won Harry's heart, the kind, wonderful, smart, gorgeous Harry's heart, was not yet content with taking one of the most gorgeous guys in the year, she had to take Dean, who was still going out with his Ravenclaw girlfriend, as well.  
  
She got to her dormitory and into her bed. She knew if Lavender wouldn't try to explain in the dormitory because it was too risky. Any of the other girls could hear.  
  
Lavender came in a few minutes later, and it sounded as though she had been crying, because she kept sniffling and sounded very choked up with every shaky breath.  
  
Hermione smiled savagely. Served her right to be upset. How dare she treat Harry so undeservingly? Harry was the sweetest, most wonderful boy in the world, and Lavender felt she could just use Harry like a toy and pick up Dean when she got bored?  
  
After a very long night of thinking about whether or not she should tell Harry, she got up in the morning, having not slept at all. Looking in the mirror, she groaned. The face staring back at her was puffy and white with red rimmed eyes from tears she had shed.  
  
Another face appeared in the mirror next to hers. It was Parvati.  
  
"Hermione, are you okay?" Parvati asked in concern. "You look terrible!"  
  
"I do, don't I?" Hermione said gloomily, carefully examining her hair.  
  
Lavender came over. "Hermione, can I talk to you? Please?" Hermione was on the verge of walking out and just ignoring Lavender, but then realized that she was, in fact, very interested to know what Lavender had to say for herself. She gave in, and followed Lavender to her bed, where they pulled the curtains around so the other girls couldn't see and hear as well.  
  
Lavender turned to Hermione and took a deep breath. For someone who should have been more sleep deprived and tormented than Hermione, she looked as though she had slept quite well.  
  
"Look, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for what you saw last night." Lavender peered up at Hermione who was looking at her incredulously.  
  
"You're sorry?" Hermione repeated. "You toy around with the affections of my best friend, cheat on your boyfriend, let Dean cheat on his girlfriend.and you expect me to let you feel all good about it because you said, "I'm sorry"?"  
  
"Look, I didn't mean for it to happen! It was one of those spur-of-the- moment things!" Lavender said desperately.  
  
Hermione smiled grimly. "Funny, to me it sounded as though you two had planned it. Something along the lines of, 'did anyone see you?' and 'no, we're all meant to be asleep.' It made it so incredibly obvious that you had planned it."  
  
Lavender looked down at the sheets. A tear rolled down her cheek. "Listen, Hermione, I know Harry is your best friend, and you care a lot about him, but please, please don't tell him. This is the last thing he needs."  
  
Hermione laughed scoffingly. "You don't think!"  
  
Lavender looked up. "You're not going to tell him, are you?"  
  
Hermione saw Lavenders wide, frightened eyes and sighed. "No Lavender. I'll leave that up to you. It's not my place to tell him that his girlfriend cheated on him. It's yours. But I'm warning you. You had better have told him by the end of the day."  
  
Lavender gasped, aghast. "You want me to tell him about Dean?"  
  
Hermione was slightly shocked. "You mean, you weren't going to? You were just going to pretend it had never happened?"  
  
Lavender looked a little ashamed. "Well, he's been through so much already in his life, I didn't think it would be good for him."  
  
Hermione couldn't believe she was hearing this. "Well, listen, he might have had a rough time in life, but there's no reason for you to think its ok to go cheating on him and then lying to him about it. So if you haven't told him by the end of today, I will tell him for you."  
  
Lavender folded her arms. "Are you threatening me?"  
  
Hermione didn't answer at first, as she got up and pulled the curtains back to reveal an empty room. The other girls had gone down to breakfast already. She turned back for a second to see Lavender facing her with a bewildered and slightly stubborn expression.  
  
Hermione paused and then grinned slightly. "Why yes, Lavender. I believe I am." 


	6. The Betrayal

Three weeks had passed since the episode with Lavender and Dean, and Lavender was now going out with Dean, after telling Harry the truth. Harry was of course a little hurt when he found out, and it nearly made Hermione cry every time she saw his sad expression as he stared off into space. She knew he was thinking about all the broken relationships in his life. His parents, aunt and uncle, cousin, Cho, Lavender, Sirius...  
  
But considering the impact the break up should have had on him, Harry seemed strangely untouched by the incident. He shrugged it off after a couple of days, and even smiled at Lavender in class. For them to remain friends after such a betrayal showed that Harry was stronger than Hermione gave him credit for.  
  
It was late on a Friday night before a Hogsmeade trip. She was still up in the common room much later that night than usual. Having taken more subjects than anyone in the rest of the year meant that the homework load often got to her before it got to anyone else. She was deathly tired, but persisted.  
  
In the middle of an Ancient Runes translation, she had to search for her dictionary. She could not for the life of her locate the book anywhere on the tables she had been working at. Looking over at the table Harry and Ron had seated themselves at earlier, she wondered if perhaps she had left it there previously.  
  
Wandering over, she searched through piles of books, sifted through parchment and reorganized the desk completely. She didn't find the dictionary, but she did find a black, leather bound book. Turning over the covers, there was no writing on either side.  
  
Looking over her shoulder to see if anyone was coming down the stairs, she opened the cover. What she saw inside froze her heart. This was Harry's journal.  
  
Every ounce of her mind was trying to make her put the diary down and forget she'd ever seen it, but as if she could not control her hands, she found herself turning the page over to the first days of the summer holidays.  
  
Entranced, she read page after page of Harry's thoughts, dreams and experiences. She read his feelings on the different issues that had plagued Harry for the three months, nearly bursting into tears as she read all the horrible things Harry had been through with his aunt and uncle.  
  
Turning a few more pages into the journal, she stopped. She'd reached the first few pages of the new school year. There, written in jet-black ink, was Harry's opinion of her relationship with Ron ending. Hermione couldn't help herself. She sank into the chair and began to read.  
  
"I know I should feel bad for Ron, but I can't help being glad that they aren't together any longer. It means Ron is free to do the stuff we used to, and that Hermione is free.what a crap thing to say and feel. I'm such a dickhead to be lying to my two best friends. Ron and Hermione made a much better couple than Hermione and I ever would. That's if Hermione ever liked me. Besides, Ron's had a major thing for her since first year. I've liked her for a long time, but never as much as Ron did. Until this year. Then I noticed her."  
  
Hermione's heart stopped. She flipped a few pages further into the book.  
  
"Lavender is fantastic and all, I mean, she's a great girl, but there's just something missing in her for me. It's nothing really wrong with her, its just the fact that I guess I know she isn't the best person for me. I know who that person is. And I know its wrong for me to be dating Lavender with this secret, but I can't shake my feelings for Hermione. I thought dating Lavender would change my opinion on it, but it didn't. And I don't think anything ever will."  
  
The page went on, revealing more about Harry's innermost secrets. But Hermione, sickened at heart, shut the journal and put it down. Harry? Harry Potter? The Golden Boy of Hogwarts, the wonder of the wizarding world, the boy every girl wanted to date ... Harry was in love with Hermione? It seemed too good to be true. But if Harry had liked her for so long, why had he never confessed to her?  
  
"The same reason I never confessed to him," Hermione realized.  
  
The sound of footsteps on the stairs made her look up. Standing at the bottom of the stairs was Harry Potter.  
  
Hermione stood up immediately. "Harry!" she gasped.  
  
Harry looked just as startled to see her. "Hermione ... what are you doing still up?" He looked at his watch. "It's so late."  
  
"Yes, well, I-I was j-just leaving actually." She stumbled over to her table and grabbed a load of parchment before turning, smiling nervously at Harry and starting to leave to room.  
  
"Why were you at Ron's and my table?" Harry asked, amused. "Looking to see how much homework we had or hadn't done?" He began to walk over and then something seemed to hit him, as though he'd walked into an invisible wall of glass. His eyes took in the diary lying innocently on the table. Too innocently.  
  
He whirled around to see Hermione's guilty face. "You read that book?" he asked, aghast.  
  
Hermione exhaled nervously. "I-It was just lying there, I didn't know what it was until it was too late... "  
  
Harry's eyes were wild and glossy. "You read my journal?" He looked around bewilderedly. "How could you not know what it was? Inside are plainly marked entries, with every possible hint you could ever need!"  
  
Hermione took a deep breath and said shakily; "I saw my name on an entry. And . I saw something about Ron and me. I . I thought it would be okay if I just read that to see what you really..."  
  
Harry grabbed the book and tears started to form in the corners of his eyes. "So you read it?"  
  
Hermione's heart fell at the sight of Harry's shocked and hurt expression. "I'm so sorry, Harry."  
  
Droplets fell down Harry's cheeks as he shouted, "And now you're going to go and tell everyone aren't you?"  
  
Hermione gasped. "No, of course not!"  
  
"Oh, sure," Harry said scornfully. "You read things about the famous Harry Potter that reporters would pay gold for, and you're not going to tell anyone."  
  
Hermione grabbed his shoulder desperately. "Harry, I wouldn't ever tell anyone! You know that! I'm sorry I read it, but can't we just talk about it?"  
  
Harry wrenched his shoulder out of her grasp and silenced her with a glare. "Talking about it? You think talking about it would help? To have to you condescendingly look at me and explain that you can't ever return feelings for the poor Potter boy?" he spat.  
  
"No!" Hermione burst out, feeling that she would burst into tears at any moment.  
  
"What's going on down here?" Ron stepped blearily into the room. "Why are you two out so late?"  
  
"No reason," Harry straightened and looked Ron levelly in the eyes. "I just came downstairs to check Hermione wasn't working herself to death."  
  
Ron looked to Hermione for an explanation. Hermione gulped back a sob and smiled weakly. Seeming to give up, Ron shrugged and said, "Coming?" to the pair of them.  
  
Hermione desperately tried to catch Harry's eye, but he seemed not to notice her. As Ron disappeared back up the stairs, she blurted out, "Harry, I..."  
  
But Harry continued walking as if he couldn't hear anything. Hermione let a sob escape as she called, "Wait!" Harry slowed to a halt, but didn't turn to face her.  
  
"Harry, listen, I understand ..." she began.  
  
Harry cut her off. "No you don't, Hermione. No one does." With that he turned and fled away up the stairs, leaving a distraught Hermione far behind with tears rolling down her cheeks. 


	7. Christmas Confrontation

Nearly a whole week had passed since the incident in the common room. The atmosphere between the two Gryffindors was not much improved either. Harry spent his time avoiding Hermione, and Hermione, after trying pointlessly to talk to Harry, had begun to retreat inside herself. Ron was confused beyond all description. His two best friends weren't talking to each other, and neither would clue him in as to what has going on.  
  
The Christmas holidays were almost here. The Great Hall was being decorated spectacularly as usual, with the seven Christmas trees all lined around the walls. The icicles dangled from the banisters of the stairs and mistletoe hovered above the corridors. Holly and ivy were draped around the castle towers from the outside, giving the castle a festive appearance. The snow outside glistened as it showered lightly from the sky, coating the ground in a frosty carpet.  
  
It should have been nearly impossible to be depressed in these circumstances, but Harry and Hermione managed it quite well. Each was so caught up in their own misery, that they found nearly no joy in the Christmas season. Ron had given up trying to make them merry, and had begun to hang around with Seamus more.  
  
Hermione had been keeping to herself for a lot of the past week. She had decided to return home for Christmas, only to find that her parents were going on holidays, assuming that she'd want to spend her last Christmas at Hogwarts. She was stuck at the beautiful castle with Harry and Ron for the whole two-week break with nearly no one else around. What on earth was she going to do?  
  
As Christmas neared, she found it not so hard to deal with. No classes were being held, so she had full days to herself. The first day of the holidays was marvelous. She spent it down with Hagrid in his little cottage. He'd been delighted to see her, having not run into her often apart from classes because of their busy schedules.  
  
However, Christmas Day would go down in Hermione's head as one of the most memorable days ever. She had gotten up early on the day to avoid being in the common room with Harry, Ron and Seamus, who had also decided to stay at Hogwarts. Apparently Ron had told Harry about his relationship with Seamus, because the three of them seemed to be quite amiable together, and Ron and Seamus weren't at all awkward around each other.  
  
Hermione sat down in the snow, shivering with the cold. The scenery was splendid. Watching the snow drifting lazily from above, she felt the most relaxed she had in ages. Then she caught sight of a black figure walking towards her. As it neared, the shape became distinguishable. It was Ron, coming to talk to her.  
  
When he reached her, he smiled and sat down in the snow beside her. "You all right?" he asked her. Giving him a watery smile in return, she nodded. He handed her a little package wrapped in pretty blue paper, adorned with only a silver ribbon.  
  
She took the gift and hugged him. "Ron, thank you. You didn't have to get me anything!"  
  
He chuckled and said, "Well, I figured you deserved something, you know, you've been a great friend to me. And besides, that Chudley Cannons book was definitely incentive for me to give something in return." Winking at her, she laughed and unwrapped the gift.  
  
Inside was a framed photograph. The frame was silvery and frosted with magical snow. The photo inside was a picture of Harry, Ron and Hermione all together in the Hogwarts grounds. It appeared to have been taken earlier that summer, when they'd all been friends.  
  
She let a small sigh escape her as she looked happily into Ron's photographic face. It captured his laughing expression perfectly, and he waved from behind the glass. Watching herself smiling and hugging the two boys, she felt a small stab of hurt in her stomach as she wondered if she'd ever have those two so close to her ever again. Then she looked more closely at Harry. She saw those beautiful green eyes in the photo, and the messy black hair was rippling in the slight breeze coming from the lake. He was laughing too, but he was looking at the photographic Hermione, and there was something in his expression that Hermione couldn't read.  
  
She smiled up at Ron. "Thank you. Oh, Ron, this is wonderful. I love it!"  
  
He patted her on the back as she hugged him again, and then he glanced in the other direction. She followed his gaze, and saw a distant figure walking vaguely in their direction, clearly not having noticed them. The outline of a bird was evident on his shoulder. Hermione took a short, sharp breath. Harry was coming towards them.  
  
Ron looked to Hermione. He saw the longing in her expression. "Why don't you just go and talk to him?" he asked her.  
  
Hermione let all her breath out at once in a deep, long sigh. "Because he wont listen to me."  
  
Ron shook his head. "Is either of you ever going to tell me what the hell is going on between you?"  
  
Hermione shook back her hair and grinned at him. "It's nothing you need to know. Honestly, you're better off not knowing. How's Seamus?" she asked, winking at him.  
  
He shoved her shoulder playfully and blushed slightly. "He's good..." he said slyly.  
  
"Oh no you don't!" replied Hermione. "What's happened between you?"  
  
He chuckled happily and sat back against the tree trunk. "He's such a great guy, Hermione. I really like him." He turned his head to look at Hermione. "And he likes me too. We make a good couple."  
  
Hermione rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm really happy for you, Ron." She laughed lightly. "At least one of us can have an untangled love life."  
  
Ron put his arm around her and said, "You know, you and Harry can't keep each other in the dark forever. I think I've got a vague idea of what's going on. And I don't understand why you don't just go over there and make him listen to you."  
  
Hermione buried her face in her arms. "I told you before, he won't listen to me!"  
  
Ron stood up. "Then make him listen, my dear Hermione." He waved and walked away to the castle, in the direction of Harry and Hedwig. Hermione watched as the two boys drew nearer each other and exchanged a hug. Ron appeared to be comforting Harry, resting his chin on top of the slightly shorter boy's head. A lone tear rolled down Hermione's cheek as she realized she wanted more than anything to be the person to comfort Harry when he was upset.  
  
Ron continued to walk towards the castle, and Harry continued to wander closer to Hermione. He still hadn't noticed her sitting there. Hedwig took off from Harry's arm and circled around his head. Harry was close enough for Hermione to almost make out his expression. For the moment he looked happy. He was laughing, every one of those beautiful white teeth showing in a gorgeous white smile. Hermione decided to get up from her idle state and take Ron's advice. She was going to talk to Harry.  
  
His back was turned to her now as he watched Hedwig flying around. She walked as quietly as she could until she was no more than ten metres away. She was still deciding whether or not to go talk to him when Harry turned around.  
  
His face went through a range of expressions when he saw her standing there. Each lasted for too short a moment for her to get a good idea of how he was feeling. She watched him struggle to keep his face blank, and as she waited for him to speak, she realized there was no hint of a smile on his face now.  
  
Hermione's heart fell.  
  
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Thank you to all who have reviewed so far! I really appreciate it. Please review this chapter so I can update to your liking! 


	8. Another Fight

A cold breeze lifted the hair off Hermione's neck, sending a shiver through her. She tried timidly to speak, and failed. Her words melted in her mouth as those emotion-filled yet unreadable eyes looked at her.  
  
Harry seemed to get more and more uncomfortable as the silence went on. He finally broke it, clearing his throat. "Um, thank you for the gift. I didn't expect you to get me anything, considering ... " His voice trailed off.  
  
Hermione gulped. "It was no problem." So many thoughts were running through her head, and yet she found it horribly hard to get a single one of them out.  
  
The silence was unbearable. "It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" The she cringed. How on earth was she going to strike up a conversation with comments on the weather?  
  
Harry looked as awkward as she felt. "Yeah, bit cold, but it's nice ... "  
  
Hermione nodded and stamped her feet lightly on the ground, hoping to get some feeling back into them. The silence was nearly as icy as the frost surrounding their feet, sending chills up her spine.  
  
Finally Harry spoke again. "Why did you do it?"  
  
Hermione's stomach clenched. Oh god. She suddenly did not want to have this conversation. She licked her lips. "D-do what?"  
  
He gave her a sarcastic look. "You know what. Why did you read the journal?"  
  
Hermione hugged her arms around her body in an attempt to keep warm. "I didn't know it was a journal. It was sitting on your desk and I wondered what it was, so I picked it up. And I saw my name. I don't know why I didn't put it down." Hermione glanced up to see his expression. It was still blank, but she sensed a hint of humiliation behind the walls covering up his beautifully expressive eyes.  
  
He sighed and nodded. "What did you read though?"  
  
Hermione gritted her teeth together. This was the part she'd been dreading. Telling him what she knew.  
  
"I-I read the part about your summer," she said, hoping that telling him part of the truth would get her by for the moment, at least until they were someplace warmer. Her teeth were starting to chatter uncontrollably.  
  
He gave her another look. "That's not all though. You read the parts about you and Ron. You read my feelings about you, didn't you?"  
  
Her body was shaking with part terror, but mostly the terrible cold. "Yes!" she burst out, unable to contain it any longer. "Yes, all right? I read what you wrote about me. I wanted to know your real opinion of me. I wanted to know what you felt about me and whether it was anything like what I felt for you!"  
  
She didn't know how it was possible, but the tears running down her cheeks made her insides turn colder. She would have brushed them away, but her hands were turning purple with the freezing cold, and she was beginning to lose feeling in all her fingers. Snow was settling in her hair and she knew her lips would be blue by now.  
  
But now she'd gotten it out, she couldn't seem to stop, besides the fact that forming words with her mouth now seemed a harder task than any she'd performed before.  
  
"I liked you too, okay, Harry?" she blurted out. "I nearly killed Lavender when she asked you out."  
  
Harry's mouth formed an 'o' as his eyebrows rose, almost disappearing into his fringe.  
  
Hermione rambled on. "You don't understand how much I wanted to tell you this, especially when Lavender cheated on you, but I just ... "  
  
She never finished that sentence. She was too busy staring at Harry in shock. The boy's face had changed; despite the red nose, blue lips and pale cheeks, he managed to laugh. And laugh. And laugh. His voice echoed through the snow, resounding in her ears. All she could think about was the fact that the boy she loved so madly was standing in the middle of the snow, in front of her, having just listen to her confess her true feelings about him, and he was laughing at her. She nearly lost it.  
  
She took a step backwards towards the castle. Her expression stopped him laughing although he was still smiling. Her eyes narrowed with anger.  
  
"I just poured my heart out to you, telling you things I have never told anyone before, letting you in on some of the secrets I would have taken to the grave, and you LAUGH?" she yelled.  
  
His face turned quickly to concern as he reached out his hand to calm her down. But she batted his hand away hysterically. Her eyes streamed with warm tears, which quickly turned to cold droplets of water on her face, reminding her of how cold it was.  
  
"No. No! I come here to talk to you and stop us from being at odds with each other, and all you can do is LAUGH AT ME?" Her voice broke as she screamed. Her head felt strangely light. Everything seemed to be jeering her as she turned to run from him. She could hear him calling out after her, but she ran as fast as she could, as far away as she could get.  
  
If she'd turned around, she would have seen Harry kicking the snow in frustration before starting to run after her. She would have seen the concern in his eyes. And she would have noticed the tears that dropped silently off Harry's cheeks and into the snow. 


	9. The New Guy

This Christmas was not the best one she'd ever had, Hermione mused. She'd run all the way up to the castle and managed to hide behind a statue as Harry ran past, evidently looking for her. She'd had half a mind to step out from behind the statue and give him a piece of her mind, but she realized that if she did, she'd burst into tears and give him more reason to laugh.  
  
And so Christmas passed. The two exchanged no more conversation, though Ron tried to make them talk to each other at the Christmas dinner. Hermione got up halfway through and left the Hall. Harry glumly watched her leave until she had disappeared, then buried his head in his hands. How could he have been so stupid? She'd confessed to him that she'd liked him. And he'd angered her so much, he'd be lucky if she ever spoke to him again.  
  
He'd laughed, true, but it had only been with relief. He hadn't meant to be so rude, he'd just thought that this confession meant that he'd finally be getting together with her. And on Christmas too! What better a day than that?  
  
New Years Day came and went. The rest of the school came back to join them, and they soon began their classes again. Homework was building up now, and the rush for study time was beginning to get to everyone. Strangely, the only person not seeming to have any trouble getting all her homework done was Hermione. Since she no longer had to help Ron and Harry with their homework, and Lavender and Parvati avoided her, she had nothing to bother her apart from her gradually increasing workload. She would sometimes stay up well into the early hours of the morning, and it would show the next day, but she was never heard to complain. And in all honesty, it wasn't the homework that was keeping her up.  
  
It was the fact that she'd bothered to tell this boy how much she liked him, and all he'd done was laugh at her. Her face burned with humiliation every time she relived the experience, and she cringed when she thought about it. And since she was thinking about it a lot, she spent an awful lot of time cringing and turning pink. She looked so strange that Professor Flitwick sent her up to the hospital wing to get checked over.  
  
The next big school event was going to be the Valentines Day Ball. Hermione didn't know if she wanted to go. There was always practically a queue of girls who wanted to dance with Harry, and she didn't think she could bear to watch him dance with other girls while she sat alone on the sidelines. No, maybe she'd just skip it altogether.  
  
* * *  
  
But Hermione's outlook on that was changed one day in the library. She was working on an important piece for Care of Magical Creatures on the correct way to handle and feed Blehts, tiny cat-like creatures with horns growing on either side of their ears.  
  
She was working alone at a table when she decided to find a particular book she'd had before that would be useful. She knew just where to find it, and was heading directly towards the bookshelf when she was suddenly knocked to the ground.  
  
A hand appeared in front of her face and she took it. A strong arm hauled her to her feet and then a masculine voice asked her, "Are you all right?"  
  
Hermione took in the face of the boy who'd attacked her. It was Daniel Gillian, a Ravenclaw. He was much sought after by other girls in their houses, but Hermione had been too caught up in her own love life to notice him. However, now she was in such close proximity with the boy, she couldn't help understanding why so many girls swooned over him.  
  
His strong jaw line and fluffy brown hair were admirable, and the blue eyes looking at her with concern were clear and bright. He was strong and toned, very tall, and all up, sincerely handsome.  
  
Hermione realized she was taking an awfully long time to answer, and was staring with an open mouth at the guy. Closing her mouth in embarrassment, she smoothed her hair down as best she could and flashed him a smile.  
  
"Oh, yes, I'm fine." She picked up the quill she'd been carrying, and reached for the book. Daniel knelt beside her and his hand reached it first. He handed it to her with a flirtatious smile.  
  
"Sorry I knocked you down."  
  
Hermione laughed lightly. "Why were you in such a hurry?"  
  
He scratched his nose. "Well, I was supposed to be meeting a friend about five minutes ago."  
  
She gasped. "Oh, I'm so sorry! I've kept you from your friend!"  
  
Daniel grinned and took her arm. "I think he will live without me."  
  
He led her back to the table and sat beside her where they talked late into the night. When at last they were shooed out of the library by the librarian, Hermione headed to the Gryffindor common room with a broad smile on her face.  
  
It wasn't until she reached the girls dormitories that she realized she hadn't thought about Harry once since meeting Daniel properly.  
  
* * *  
  
The next few days were glorious for Hermione. She spent most of the in the company of Daniel, and had to admit she was enjoying it very much. Harry still popped into her head from time to time, but it was hard to think about him when someone else was treating her so well.  
  
He'd invited her to the Valentine's Day Ball, and she couldn't wait to show him off. She knew a lot of girls would be incredibly jealous, not to mention how Harry might feel...  
  
She had to admit she was kind of hoping to make Harry jealous. She wanted to show him exactly what he was missing out on. She'd thought he'd liked her... she'd really, really hoped. But it was all a fools hope, and she didn't know why she'd bothered in the first place.  
  
Harry was pretty much untouchable. At least for her he was.  
  
* * *  
  
The day of the Valentines Day Ball approached. Hermione was not alone in her rapture. Many girls would stand in close little cliques and whisper excitedly about their dresses and partners.  
  
When the night came, Hermione spent hours making herself look presentable. She was joined in the girls dormitories by Lavender and Parvati, who had for the night put aside their awkwardness about the whole Harry issue, and were helping Hermione look good. They were of course incredibly jealous that Hermione had snagged Daniel, but were very happy for her as well.  
  
Hermione was positively glowing. She had great friends, and she had a wonderful boyfriend as well... Tonight was going to be wonderful!  
  
* * *  
  
As Hermione descended the stairs to the Entrance Hall, she caught sight of Daniel, standing and waiting for her beside the stairs. She smiled and went to meet him.  
  
When he caught sight of her, his face burst into a brilliant smile. "You look beautiful," he told her.  
  
Hermione blushed and smiled. "Well, you don't look to bad yourself, spunk!" she teased him. He laughed and linked arms. Together they walked into the Great Hall.  
  
Decorations were plentiful and all were pink. The sight of an ocean of girls and boys dressed in every colour imaginable greeted Hermione, and she couldn't help giggling at the sight of Ron and Seamus standing together, both looking positively repulsed by the sight of so much pink in the decorations. The image reminded Hermione of a Valentines Day in their second year, when Ron had been disgusted by the sight of Professor Lockhart's decorations.  
  
Daniel led her out onto the dancefloor right away, and they swirled and danced together for at least six dances in a row. She'd been right when she thought there would be a lot of jealous girls, especially in Ravenclaw. Several of them looked as though they would like to claw her to pieces, and others just scowled at her. She smiled innocently and waved back.  
  
When she and Daniel had danced their seventh dance, they decided it was time for a drink. Daniel went off for some Butterbeers while Hermione joined Ron and Seamus.  
  
Ron looked at her with an arched brow. "So ... Daniel Gillian, hey?"  
  
Hermione smiled bewilderedly. "Yes..."  
  
"Haven't you heard about his reputation?" Seamus asked.  
  
Hermione frowned. "Reputation? No..."  
  
Seamus opened his mouth to elaborate, but before he could, Ron said loudly, "Hi Daniel."  
  
Seamus turned to see Daniel had come up behind them. Completely oblivious to the fact that they'd been discussing him for the past few minutes, he handed a drink to Hermione and put an arm around her waist while he drank.  
  
Hermione raised an eyebrow at Seamus and shook her head before sipping her own drink.  
  
She caught sight of Harry. He was dancing with Parvati, but was looking directly at her. She looked at him without smiling for a very long time before turning back to Daniel and continuing their conversation.  
  
Harry was crushed to see her there with someone else. He knew about Daniel's reputation for being a player, and hoped to God that he wouldn't hurt Hermione... but at the same time hoped that Hermione would dump the guy. He couldn't believe that she'd pick Daniel to go to the Ball with. He would have asked her...but he didn't think she'd say yes. In fact, he was pretty sure she wouldn't.  
  
Hermione, though, was having a very good night. She had danced nearly every song, and Daniel was a fantastic dancer. He'd excused himself while he went to the bathroom, and Hermione was waiting by the door. Looking at the clock, she realized he'd been gone for over twenty minutes. She was starting to worry, hoping that nothing had happened. Leaving the Hall, she went looking for him.  
  
Harry saw her leave and decided to go after her in the hopes she'd talk to him this time. He followed her quickly and quietly. She was evidently searching for someone, probably Daniel. Harry swallowed a growl as he thought about the creep.  
  
Then he saw Hermione round a corner and she stopped still and gasped. Clasping a hand to her mouth, she looked both horrified and shocked.  
  
With a sense of foreboding, he stepped forward too. Hermione was too upset to notice him. He looked at the sight in front of him and his stomach lurched. Oh bugger, he thought.  
  
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Read and tell me what you think! I'll update soon, probably on Sunday if not before that. Please review! 


	10. Cheating Again

A/N: In the previous chapter I made a typographical mistake, it reads: "Harry hoped to God that he would hurt Hermione." That is meant to be "Harry hoped to God he wouldn't hurt Hermione." I have fixed up the page, but for those of you, who have already read that page, Harry is not a brutal sadist, he actually cares about Hermione.  
  
And also, for one of my previous reviewers, thank you for your comments, they were muchly appreciated, particularly the nice ones * grins happily * but I have to ask you, why would it be such a nightmare for a guy to find out his best friend is gay? I have gay and bisexual friends, and it doesn't matter to me. I'm pretty sure (at least I hope) homophobia is becoming scarcer, and Harry is going to be proud of Ron, not shy away from him, because Harry, like me, is not homophobic! But thank you for your other kind comments, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.  
  
And to the rest of my reviewers, thank you! I love you all!  
  
This chapter is pretty predictable, but it had to happen for the ending to be right.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Harry was repulsed, staring down at the sight before him. The thoughts running through his mind ranged from "Oh, shit" to "I'm going to kill him" and "I hope Hermione is okay."  
  
Hermione however, was just standing there staring in disbelief. Her charming, handsome boyfriend was lying against a wall with another girl, a Slytherin, no less. They were kissing passionately and didn't seem to have noticed the two Gryffindors staring at them.  
  
"What the bloody hell is going on here?" yelled Hermione furiously. Daniel looked up immediately and stood, the other girl falling from his lap to the floor with a yelp.  
  
"H-Hermione...what are you d-doing here?" he stammered, looking slightly frightened, as anyone would with Hermione glaring so angrily at them.  
  
Harry crossed his arms and listened. This was going to be interesting. He'd seen Hermione angry before, and it was not pretty to be the one her anger was directed to.  
  
"What the hell do you think I'm doing here?" Hermione hollered. "I came looking for you because your toilet break turned from the promised two minutes to twenty minutes, and then I find you making out with some girl!"  
  
Daniel looked incredibly uncomfortable. "Well, um...it's not what it looks like?" he tried.  
  
Harry snorted. God, this guy was pathetic. He was worse than the characters in those teenage trashy novels Hermione and Ginny had stacked in the corner for people to read if they were interested in non-magic literature for a change.  
  
Hermione glared at Daniel so fiercely that he backed away into the wall, and finding nowhere to escape, he simply cowered.  
  
Harry suppressed a grin. This was priceless. The famous Daniel was cowering before a girl! He of course knew about Daniel's reputation for cheating on girls and sleeping around with them, but he never heard of anyone who had stood up to him the way Hermione was.  
  
She raised a shaky finger to the bridge of his nose and whispered threateningly, "If you ever dare to come near me again, I will hurt you. And that's a promise."  
  
Daniel had never looked more frightened as the Gryffindor turned and stormed out back towards the corridor that would lead her to the Head Boy and Girl dormitories.  
  
He noticed Harry standing there grinning at him and snapped, "What the hell do you want?"  
  
Harry raised an eyebrow. "Be careful, as well as watching the Head Girl rob you of your dignity, I could, as being Head Boy allows, rob your house of points for rudeness." He winked at Daniel's infuriation, and followed Hermione quickly.  
  
It was quite hard to keep up with the angry brunette, she was marching as fast as she could, and Harry nearly had to jog to keep up with her.  
  
"Hermione.Hermione!" he panted.  
  
She turned to face him. "What?" she snapped. "Come to rub in the glory of watching me be humiliated by the guy everyone knew about except me?"  
  
Harry was shocked. "Do you seriously think I'm that shallow? That I would laugh at one of my best friends for something that wasn't even her fault, and that she certainly did not deserve?"  
  
Hermione scoffed. "One of your best friends, yeah right! If I'm so close to you, then how come you've been avoiding me for half the term?"  
  
Harry looked at her incredulously. "I've been avoiding you?" He laughed dryly, though he didn't think anything about this argument was funny. "What about you?"  
  
Hermione flipped her hands up exasperatedly. "What about me?"  
  
"What about all those days when you ignored everything Ron was trying to do to get you to talk to me?"  
  
Hermione glared at him. "Do you really think I appreciated having someone try to force me to talk to someone who clearly didn't want to talk to me?"  
  
Harry rolled his eyes. "I did want to talk to you. But what was I supposed to say?"  
  
Hermione shut her eyes and clenched her fists. "For God's sakes, Harry, you knew exactly what you were supposed to say."  
  
Harry realized this was true. He had worked out conversations in his head, but this one had never quite reached his thoughts.  
  
She turned and started to walk down the corridor towards the door of their common room, but Harry grabbed her arm and whirled her around to face him once more.  
  
"Will you wait?" he snapped.  
  
"What for?" Hermione said icily.  
  
"Don't you even care about making up with me? Can I just tell you my side of the story so you'll at least stop thinking I'm some sort of asshole?"  
  
Hermione remained silent. Harry took her other arm as well. "Hermione?"  
  
She sighed. "Fine, I guess I can hear you out."  
  
He released her arm and they walked into the common room. Harry was sweating and starting to feel queasy with nervousness about what he had to tell her. This was going to be one of the hardest things he'd ever done.  
  
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Okay, sorry this chapter is so short, but my mother is limiting my computer time to two hours per day and I need to update my other story as well. Please read and review! More reviews means faster updates, especially now that school is starting again! 


	11. The Talk

A/N: Thank you to all my wonderful reviewers! I love you all! And now school has started again, I'm hoping to be able to update as frequently as I have been...but that may prove to be a little harder with year ten's work. But I promise to try! * smiles *  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Harry's stomach was squirming, and his hands were sweating. This was going to be the most excruciating moment of his life so far, telling Hermione what he truly thought and wanted. At one point, he even thought about just running out of the room and avoiding this experience entirely. He felt the old Harry coming back, the one who would avoid all emotional conversations at all costs. But he knew that if he blew this, there would be no further chances. He would be doomed.  
  
Hermione sank into a comfy armchair in their shared common room. The reflections of the fire dancing on the wall gave the room a homely feeling, as if they were already a couple living together. Harry imagined living in this sort of a scene with Hermione for the rest of their lives. It brought a smile to his face.  
  
He immediately blushed when he realized what he was thinking. He didn't even know if Hermione liked him yet, and already he was entertaining thoughts of them living together? Eeek.  
  
Hermione was staring up at him expectantly. Harry was finding it extremely hard to swallow. His throat appeared to have dried up completely.  
  
Arching an eyebrow, Hermione asked, "Well, why don't you sit down? Or is that too hard a task for you?"  
  
Harry shook his head to try getting some sense back into it, and plonked himself down in an armchair opposite her.  
  
Hermione felt bad when she saw how uncomfortable he looked. She knew she was being bitchy to him, and she felt kind of bad about that too, but she couldn't, in all honesty, see what it was that he wanted to talk to her about so badly.  
  
She summoned two of the Butterbeers from their little storage cupboard in the corner of the room. They had quite a collection of Butterbeers, and lots of time to drink them.  
  
Harry seemed to be incredibly interested in opening his bottle. He was taking his sweet time in getting a word out. They'd been in the room for about seven minutes, and he still hadn't uttered a word.  
  
Hermione took a sip from her drink and asked, "So...did you want to talk about something?"  
  
Harry choked on a little bit of Butterbeer, and then straightened his back slightly.  
  
"Yes?" he asked, as if waiting for her to blow up at him again.  
  
She looked at him expectantly, clearly waiting for him to go on. He looked back down at the drink, and said, "What is the alcohol content of these drinks, do you reckon?"  
  
Hermione's eyebrows went straight up into her hair. That was the big question? She somehow didn't think so.  
  
"Well, if Winky the House Elf can get drunk on less than six bottles, it has to be strongish..." Hermione mused. She didn't see what this had to do with anything, but felt she should keep the conversation flowing.  
  
Harry nodded. "Well, we probably shouldn't have more than ten bottles each."  
  
Hermione snorted. "So you really think we'll be here for that long? Long enough to drink ten bottles of Butterbeer?"  
  
Harry just looked at her until her insides seemed to shrivel up. "I think we'll be here a long time. We have a lot of things to talk through."  
  
Hermione's throat was the one to dry up this time. She took a very long swig of her Butterbeer and nodded awkwardly.  
  
Harry took a deep breath and asked, "Why did you go to the ball with that jerk?"  
  
Hermione turned to him, scowling. "Why wouldn't I? He was a guy who was interested in me. There aren't very many of them around, in case you hadn't noticed."  
  
Harry looked as though he was about to say something, but Hermione cut him off.  
  
"And besides, why do you care about that?"  
  
Harry's gaze shifted back to his own hands, and he seemed to be studying them very carefully as he replied, "Well...it just seemed like an awfully short time for you to get over...well...you know..."  
  
He didn't finish that sentence, so Hermione finished it for him. "You think I got over you very quickly?"  
  
He nodded, a red tinge appearing on his cheeks.  
  
Hermione sighed. Why were guys so uneasy about the whole talking thing?  
  
"Harry, in case you hadn't noticed, it's been over a month. And since you'd made no effort to talk to me, I simply assumed you wouldn't ask me to the dance, so I agreed to go with Daniel."  
  
Harry seemed to brighten ever so slightly. "You mean he asked you? You didn't ask him?"  
  
Hermione briefly considered telling him that she had in fact asked Daniel, just to see what Harry's reaction to that would have been. But then her heart stopped her. She realized she was getting somewhere with him now.  
  
Gulping the last bit of Butterbeer, and noticing he'd finished his as well, Hermione summoned two more.  
  
"Yes, Harry. He asked me to go to the dance with him." She frowned. "I don't know why, seeing as he treated me so badly..."  
  
Harry looked taken aback. "But didn't you already know about his reputation?"  
  
Hermione looked up at him. "Reputation? You mean he does that on a regular basis?"  
  
Harry looked painfully awkward as he nodded, hating that he was the one to tell her.  
  
Hermione looked ready to explode. "And no one told me? Everyone knew except me, and they all just let it go?"  
  
Harry quickly intervened. "Well, everyone thought you knew...and he hadn't done it for a while, so maybe people thought he'd changed?"  
  
Hermione grumbled into her bottle. It was already half empty.  
  
"This stuff is really tasty," Hermione commented suddenly.  
  
Harry's eyes glinted with a sudden idea. "Want to see who can drink theirs the fastest?"  
  
Hermione hesitated. This was awfully childish, and what if they got drunk? But then she decided a game was what they needed to lighten the mood.  
  
Nodding, she summoned the entire collection of bottles. She'd watch how many they drank and make sure they didn't consume too many.  
  
Harry held one up. "Ready?"  
  
She grinned and held up her bottle. "Cheers!"  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Okay, you can totally tell what's going to happen, but its going to be interesting all the same...as well as interesting to see if I can write this part of the story. Please read and review! It's the little blue button below this sentence, so press it with the mouse and then write me something about the story. Thank you! 


	12. Tipsiness

Fifteen bottles of Butterbeer later, Hermione and Harry were both incredibly giggly and tipsy. The alcohol content of the drinks had turned out to be high enough to get them both semi-drunk after seven bottles each. Well, eight for Harry, seven for Hermione. The fact that Harry had mixed liberal amounts of Firewhisky into the bottles had not helped the situation. It was the Firewhisky that the twins had given him the previous holidays as a Christmas gift. Firewhisky was a lot stronger than Butterbeer, and was of course banned from the school grounds. Harry had sneaked it in inside a pair of revolting looking socks that Hermione assumed belonged to his Uncle Vernon.  
  
Harry hiccoughed. "I -*hic*- don't remember what I was saying!" he laughed stupidly.  
  
Hermione collapsed into a chair, they'd been dancing around the room for the past few minutes until Hermione had gotten seriously dizzy and needed to sit down. Harry was still whirling around the room and chuckling merrily to himself.  
  
"Harry," Hermione began, pulling him down to sit beside her, "why haven't we ever - *hic* - gone out?"  
  
"I don't know," Harry tried with all his strength to think of an answer. There wasn't one coming to mind. He got up from his chair and meandered tipsily over to Hermione's chair. Plonking himself down on the armrest, he threw an arm over her shoulder and giggled.  
  
"Maybe I have a girlfriend when you're single and you have a boyfriend when I'm single?" he suggested.  
  
Hermione hiccoughed. Her head was spinning and everything was fuzzy. She really, really did not feel well.  
  
"Maybe," she agreed, trying to stop herself from vomiting all over Harry. The bottles were only small, which is why it was so simple to down several in a matter of minutes.  
  
Harry leaned over and stroked her hair. Hermione smiled and leaned into the touch. He pulled her out of her chair and they sprawled on the floor together laughing. Harry reached out for her again and drew her close. His fingers traced the delicate features of her pretty face. She closed her eyes and let go of everything except the feel of him next to her.  
  
"What was it like to go out with Ron?" he asked her. She opened her eyes and looked at him in surprise.  
  
"Well, I suppose the same as it would have felt going out with Lavender."  
  
Harry scowled. "At least Ron didn't cheat on you."  
  
Hermione was slightly astonished. "I thought you were pretty much okay with that, I mean, you've never really shown any emotion about it."  
  
Harry laughed dryly, which was kind of spoiled by a slight hiccough. "Yeah, Hermione, my girlfriend cheats on me with a mate of mine, but I'm completely fine with that."  
  
Hermione realized how dumb she'd been, supposing that he'd gotten over it that fast.  
  
"I'm sorry, Harry. I should have comforted you."  
  
He shook his head violently. "No. No, Ron, was good enough comfort, I wouldn't have wanted your pity anyway. I'd only have felt stupid if you'd done...I mean...what was I talking about?"  
  
Hermione snorted. He rolled his eyes at her.  
  
"Well, to answer your question, it was nice to have a boyfriend who cared for me. Honestly, if you hadn't existed and if Ron had been straight, it would have been the perfect relationship I think." Hermione instantly wished she hadn't added the last part. But Harry didn't seem to have noticed.  
  
"Didn't you feel anything about him being gay?" he asked her.  
  
Hermione pursed her lip slightly as she thought for a second, trying to remember. "No, not at all."  
  
He nodded. "I didn't care either. There were a lot of weird things going on with Dean and Neville when Ron told them, they didn't seem as able to cope as I was. I'm just glad he was able to depend on both of us for support."  
  
It dawned on Hermione just how great Harry was to have as a friend.  
  
"Why did you go to the ball with Daniel?" Harry asked quietly.  
  
Hermione paused. This was going to be embarrassing to admit. "Because I thought not only was he gorgeous, but that he liked me. And...I kind of hoped that if you saw me there with a gorgeous guy, you would be...I don't know...jealous?"  
  
Harry laughed. 'Well, you succeeded."  
  
Hermione was surprised. It wasn't often that a guy admitted to being jealous. But then, Harry wasn't like other guys.  
  
But if they connected so, then why hadn't they ever been together? As though Harry was thinking the same thing, he spoke.  
  
"Do you want to give it a try?" he asked, his voice a little deeper and huskier than normal, evidently his attempt at sounding sexy, which worked surprisingly well for him. Knowing exactly what he meant, Hermione's teeth flashed in a wide grin.  
  
"I suppose it wouldn't be too bad..." she trailed off. Harry smacked her playfully and she giggled. Then slowly his hand came up to gently touch her cheek. She gazed somewhat nervously at him before her eyes fluttered closed again. The next thing she knew, his lips were pressing gently against hers in a sweet, tender kiss.  
  
It was as though time was suspended, Hermione mused, and the two of them were alone in the world as they lay together in the Head Boy and Girl common room. Nothing outside this comfy little world of romance mattered, although Hermione still felt incredibly sick. These thoughts were pushed to a side as she relaxed and enjoyed the kiss.  
  
Harry deepened it slightly, gently running his tongue over her lips, sending a shiver down her spine as she clutched him closer to her. This was the most sensual experience she thought she'd ever had.  
  
They broke apart after a few minutes of gentle pleasure. Lying there holding each other, Hermione's head rested on top of Harry's chest as he played with the shorter strands of hair at the front of her face. Planting a kiss on his neck, Hermione started to get up, feeling as though if she didn't have a drink of water, her hangover the next day would crack her skull in two.  
  
She hadn't even gotten to her knees before Harry sat up and pulled her towards him. He put one hand on her neck and the other tightly around her waist and kissed her more passionately than before. Thrills ran from the tops to bottom of Hermione's body, and she immediately decided water could wait. This was far more exciting.  
  
Harry's soft lips captured first her top lip, then the bottom lip, before kissing both of them intensely. Hermione's body went completely limp against his, and if he hadn't been holding her so tightly, she would have collapsed to the ground.  
  
His tongue brushed her lips again, and this time it was she who deepened the kiss to another level, allowing his tongue to venture inside her mouth. It was not a new experience for Hermione, having kissed Ron on several occasions, but the experience was not nearly as electric and magical as this. She melted against him, enjoying the feel of the boy she loved.  
  
Harry held her close, feeling the lack of strength in her body. This was a first for him. He'd never kissed a girl this way before. He'd kissed Lavender, but only a peck on the lips. Cho had kissed him before, but it had only just exceeded a peck. This was a completely new experience and one he really liked. Especially with the stunning brunette he'd admired for so long.  
  
It was several hours before the two broke apart to fall asleep in each other's arms on the rug in front of a merrily burning fire. 


	13. Where Is He?

When Hermione woke the next morning, Harry had already left. Her head was throbbing a little, but it wasn't too bad, considering she hadn't gotten around to getting a drink of water the previous night. Her stomach was more worrying, it felt rather queasy, and she placed a hand on it with a groan.  
  
Sitting up, she looked around. She had rather hoped Harry would have been there when she woke, so he'd have been the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes. She was such a romantic, the thought of waking to see the boy she loved lying or sitting next to her was enough to warm her insides on the coldest of nights. But he wasn't even sitting in the room. She assumed he'd gone down to breakfast. Rubbing her eyes, she rose to her feet and went to splash some water on her face in an attempt to clear the fog in her eyes. It had been rather a long night.  
  
Yawning, she dressed and ventured out into the hallway to go to breakfast. She realized that she was actually quite hungry, all things considered. When she reached the Great Hall, however, the first thing she noticed was Ron and Seamus sitting at the table, laughing together at a private joke. Harry was not with them. She scanned the table, and then the hall to check if he was sitting somewhere else or talking to someone else, but she could not see him anywhere. Her brow furrowed in confusion.  
  
Sitting next to Ron at the table, she asked nonchalantly, "Has anyone seen Harry this morning?"  
  
Seamus shook his head. Ron looked at Hermione. "The last I saw of him was last night at the Ball, he took off after you. Did something happen?"  
  
Hermione didn't know whether to tell them the truth or not. She decided to give a vague answer, they always seemed to work in these situations. "We spent a while talking everything through."  
  
Ron raised an eyebrow interestedly, and was obviously about to ask her to elaborate, but thankfully for Hermione's sake, Ginny came and sat next to her at that exact moment.  
  
Listening to Ginny rave on about the Ball the previous night, Hermione cast another glance at her ex-boyfriend. She could see him holding Seamus's hand beneath the table, which brought a faint smile to her lips. She couldn't tell if Ginny knew about Ron and Seamus, but she didn't want to be the one to tell her anyway, so she let it pass.  
  
"Oh my god, Hermione, everyone heard about you and Daniel. Are you all right?" Ginny asked in concern.  
  
Hermione uttered a humourless laugh. "I swear, I cannot believe no one told me about his 'reputation'."  
  
Ginny's eyes widened. "We all thought you knew!" she insisted, as though desperate to prove to her friend that she had not just allowed her to walk into Daniel's wake for purposes of amusement or anything. "We thought you might have changed him or something, because no one knew anything about your relationship apart from that you two spent a lot of time alone together."  
  
Hermione snorted.  
  
Ron looked at Ginny. "Hey, Gins, have you seen Harry this morning?"  
  
Ginny nodded and swallowed the bacon she was chewing. "Yes, he was out in the Gryffindor common room when I left. He was looking for something, and when I asked him whether he was coming to breakfast, he just said in a sort of distracted tone, "I've already eaten."  
  
Ron looked astounded. "But we've been here for over an hour waiting for him and Hermione! He must have gotten up pretty bloody early to beat us."  
  
Hermione wondered about that. Why hadn't he waited for her? They'd spent a pretty long time the night before getting quite personal, was he embarrassed that he'd kissed her? She sincerely hoped not, it was such a relief to have finally gotten their act together that to have him regret it and take it back was just such a horrible thought she tried to delete it from her brain completely.  
  
Seamus tilted his head to the side and looked at Hermione with interest. "So what happened with you and Harry last night then? What did you say to him?"  
  
Hermione coloured. "Nothing much." She really didn't want to divulge this information to them without Harry's consent, as they were his friends as well as hers. She stepped out over the bench and left the hall as casually as she could, fighting the mounting anxiety in her stomach as she stressed about Harry. Was he regretting last night? Did he not feel the same about her? She coloured again as she wondered if maybe he thought she was a bad kisser or something, and he didn't want to go out with her because of it.  
  
What had happened to make him leave her so early in the morning without even a note? He hadn't waited to see her when she woke up, so he couldn't be as in love with her as he'd said he was last night. Her stomach plummeted. Maybe all this had just been a game for him, and he wasn't actually interested in anything other than tricking her into thinking that he really did like her.  
  
All these bad thoughts resounded in her head, and she shook it to try and clear it. Maybe he was just in need of space to think about things? She tried to think of any reasons why he might have left that weren't bad. It was difficult. It was impossible. Nothing made sense. They didn't have any pressing homework that couldn't wait, and there was no other reason she could think of why Harry, one of the most easy-going and lovely boys she'd ever met, would nick off so quickly if it wasn't something bad.  
  
As if it would clear her head, she hastened her pace and nearly ran up the corridor til she reached the main common room. Maybe Harry was still there.  
  
As she climbed through the portrait hole, her heart sank further. Harry wasn't there. Decorations from the ball last night, empty bottles of Butterbeer, leftover food evidently purloined from the kitchen, the remnants of some of the tamer fireworks pilfered from Filch's collection of confiscated ones (she suspected Ron and Seamus of this feat), and upturned chairs all littered the cosy common room.........but there was no Harry Potter.  
  
Defeated, she turned slowly to leave the room. She climbed out the portrait hole, walked through corridors, up and down stairs and through another hidden doorway to her own common room. As she stepped into the brightly illuminated room, she halted abruptly. She could not believe what she was seeing.  
  
A/N: Don't worry, there isn't any more cheating in this chapter, Harry is not cheating on her. It's something else this time. This chapter was immeasurably easier to write than the last one, and hopefully the next one will be even easier, so expect to see it soon. I know I've been incredibly slack, hell, its been months since my last update, but Year Ten has more social dramas and homework than the rest of high school put together at our school. Having writers block really doesn't help either.  
  
Thank you to everyone, and I mean absolutely everyone, who has reviewed my story so far. You have no idea how much your words brighten my days. It really gives you more enthusiasm to write if you know people are reading and liking what you've got. So thanks to everyone, and I really hope I get more reviews to come. 


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